A Blessed Life

If you follow(ed) the blog at all, first of all thank you, second, you may have noticed i have not posted since April and my last post was about my most recent miscarriage and Kaden losing his job. I am sorry i left you all hanging. After writing what was supposed to be an inspiring message of how well i could handle hard things i came to face the hard truth that usually that just was not so. Just like after my other pregnancies i experienced ppd. Its a real thing and it is a lot more regular than most people realize but i wanted to ignore it. I basically hid under a rock for a couple of months and when i did actually leave the house i did so overly smiling and happy and in such a way that as soon as i climbed back under my rock…i just cried.

Kaden was offered an amazing new job from an engineering firm in Cedar City. What a blessing! I don't even know how to put into words the gratitude i feel towards this company and what they have not only given Kaden but all of us. What do i mean by that? Well, Kaden is on a project based in San Jose, CA. We haven't quite packed up and moved we are more of living a double life between two houses but for now it is working quite nicely. It has always been our dream to get out of Cedar City for a bit, live in a real city, mostly San Francisco but we are so dang close we can spend our days there when we want to.

How did i go from crying over smiling too big to being able to bounce back and forth? I realized i had the greatest gift the Lord could have ever given me at my finger tips. I just needed to use it. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I believe that Jesus Christ bled from every pore in the Garden of Gethsemanie and hung from the cross so that i can be forgiven for my sins. This is called the atonement. The atonement is so much more than Christ baring our burdens of sin though, it is him helping us through all of our mortal pain and sorrow no matter how it is caused. I was not able to find happiness within my heart on my own, i had a lot of help, a lot of blessings, and spent a lot of my time praying and pondering if i could be healed from this. Every single day that passed i found more joy and could clearly define each blessing that was in my life until i knew The Lord had taken that hurt from me.

Of course i have times when i think, "i could be posting a bump photo," I could be getting a nursery ready or preparing myself for my own little one to hold. I get sad, but i don't feel angry, or frustrated or lost. I feel happy to know i am blessed with an amazing life. I have a husband who loves and supports me, two daughters who are crazier than i know how to handle but i wouldn't change their spirits for anything. We have a huge extended family and so many friends that i love and adore. We are blessed with a home and the opportunity to travel, so many, many wonderful things.

Now that i have taken the leap and wrote and posted my first post back, i hope this will be one of many. I have truly missed writing and sharing my thoughts and our lives.

Love Is In The Air

I like listening to NPR while i am driving around town. Anyone else do this? Leighton thinks its really boring so i only get to turn it on while she is sleeping. Lucky for me she does sleep in the car. Anyways  on our way home from Zion i heard a little blurp about why spring makes people happy. I thought "well duh winter is finally over." You especially feel that way if you live in a dark, cold, grey, kind of stale place like we do. The second the birds start tweeting and the sun starts shining people crawl out of their holes homes and spend time outside. It helps that winter has come and gone but apparently there is much more to it than that. Supposedly this time of year actually allows your body to release more endorphins than any other time of year. If you have ever watched Legally Blonde then you know what endorphins do. They make you happy! They also help you to feel the chemicals that are "love" and make you want to have others feel that way too. 

Interesting huh? I thought so. I totally feel more in love lately. In love with being productive and creative. In love with my girls and my husband. In love with decorating our home and buying new shoes. You know all the good things to be in love with. So for reals. Love is in the air and you should totally take advantage of it. What fun things do you have planned for spring? Or what traditions do you have with your littles around this time of year? 

One of my favorite things to do with the girls is get in as many hikes as possible. The weather is beautiful and the crowds aren't to crazy yet. My all time favorite place to visit? Zion National Park and guess what its basically in my backyard only a little over an hour away and a perfect little day trip. 

 

A Quiet Moment

Its 2 in the AM and the house is finally silent. Honestly i don't know how much quiet time i have had for the past few weeks. Having your husband home 24/7 may sound like a good idea but it is not the dream i thought it would be. Don't get me wrong i love my hubby. I just also love my own routine and my way of doing thing things. Kaden is going a little stir crazy around here. Last week he sent me into a full on panic attack when he dumped the kitchen drawers out and started reorganizing. Either he needs a job soon or i need some anxiety meds. With Kaden not working i have been stressing to work more. I found myself constantly posting items and trying to book parties. Needless to say even if Emersyn hadn't been cutting 8 teeth at once this last week was exhausting. 

The hustle is not what its about. Not all of the time anyways. Yesterday Kaden cuddled with me and finally cried. I think i cried for everything. For how hard i work, for that baby i want, for the things that scare me with our children, for long days and short nights and for no time to breathe and realize where we are heading in life. Once i got it all out i felt renewed. Sometimes just getting it out is all we need. I really think it is all i needed. Here is to a new week and a new way of looking at life. Today i woke up feeling energized and ready for a new start. I became organized and i am going to schedule myself lots of "me" time and time with to spend with the girls and Kaden. No matter how broke we are work comes third. God, family, everything else. Is that how it goes? Something to that effect anyways. 

The Past Two Weeks

Sunday, April 5th 

This past week was filled with so many emotions it have been hard to actually realize what it is i have been feeling. Monday started out hopeful and exciting and i truly was so optimistic. When i was at the doctors with Leighton on Monday i couldnt have been more smiles. I was finally going to hear a heart beat, and see my baby on that screen. I just wanted to so badly tell Leighton there was a baby in my belly. I held it in though, even when doctor polson acted strange when i told him i knew i was 8 weeks i never thought anything was wrong. Tuesday i was numb. I cried, i was upset, i was confused, i was numb.

Wednesday. April 1st I texted Kaden to see how his morning was going. His reply… I got laid off. Although it was April fools, he wasn't kidding. I was almost relieved when Kaden got home. We are completely broke, like completely, but i have been so happy to have Kaden home with us. This may be one of the biggest trials we will have but also one of the biggest blessings. Kaden is no longer in limbo and has so many options in front of him. We will see what happens from here and we will get really good at living super frugally. Honestly, i know we can make it through this trial and that we will be better off financially after its all said and done. 

Thursday i went to piyo. I was so happy to be out of the house and feeling normal and treating my body like it is normal and capable. It oddly enough almost felt like a spiritual experience as i focused on my breathing and movements i felt great, i also felt every pain in my back and stomach and every drop of blood coming out of me, i know thats a little visual. But it brought so many feelings to the surface. It is so much easier for me to say that i feel fine. I want to be fine. I want to move on and be okay. 

Can you just move on? No i don't think so. On Thursday i realized what week it was and that 4 years ago this same week i lost my first baby. I have been pregnant 4 times now. 2 pregnancy were amazing and healthy and perfect. I ran every single day, i never had any complications. The other 2? I lost my babies. The first at 6 weeks, the second at 8. How does that happen? Why does that happen? Why should i have 4 children and i have 2? Why is there not an answer to my whys?

Ive made the mistake of reading other miscarriage stories. I don't know if they bring up more feelings i don't want to feel yet or if they are comforting. I feel such a strong form of sorrow and a great amount of happiness all at the same time. I love my two baby girls so much. I grieve for the 2 babies i have yet to know but i do know i will one day have the same loving relationship with them as i do Leighton and Emersyn. 

Right now i pray that our spirit babies will watch over their sisters and guide them and be with them. That when they meet someday they will already love each other. I pray that what i feel for them in my heart won't be loss but love for the tiny life they did have if even just for a moment.

- 

Sunday, April 12th

Now it has almost been two weeks and i honestly do feel great. We spent the past week in the valley. It was one of the neatest trips back since we moved away 5 years ago. I went and did things with the girls that i have been excited about doing with them for a long time. They may sound so simple, but they were just what we needed. We went to inside scoop and at ice cream outside in the beautiful weather. We drove out to red rock, played in the sand and climbed a ton of rocks. We swam in the res and played on the beach in the mud. Of course we also went to the fair. We didn't spend a ton of time up there but a couple hours each day, ate the fair food, took Leighton on the carnival  rides and saw all of the farm animals. Leighton loves the animals so much. I loved watching her with them. I  about died at one point we were in the small animal barn and i was trying to get her to leave, when i turned around she had her arm around a goats neck and was just leaning there next to him like they were good old friends and the goat didn't even care. If we ever have a house with a yard we are totally getting a goat. 

Kaden came down for Friday and Saturday and we enjoyed our time together. It is so strange but we honestly feel so comfortable with everything right now. We should probably be more worried about money but we aren't. We feel like everything is going to work out and our biggest decision right now is just to decide where it is we are supposed to be. Kaden can find work almost everywhere but what kind  of work and what kind of life would it provide for us. One thing that spending time in the valley really showed us is that we want to spend time together, we want to be surrounded by friends and family and friendly people who genuinely care when they ask you how your doing. 

Speaking of people who care…When i posted last week about my miscarriage i had no idea the response that i would receive from it. I honestly posted just for myself. Because it was comforting to write and to put out into the universe. I had no idea so many of you would read it and respond to it and ask how i was doing. If i never wrote you back i am sorry. I really did appreciate every single thought, prayer, hug or kind word that came my way. I was overwhelmed by it all and a little in shock. I remember looking at the blog in the morning and couldn't believe that post alone had 500 views. By the afternoon that had doubled. 

Loss and hard times are sometimes kind of like a train wreck, you can't help want to know what happened. I hope that if you are following because of our situation that you can find peace within it or hope for yourself and wherever you find yourself in life. 

 

At 8 Weeks- Posted 1 week after

Today I woke up. Leighton climbed in my bed and we said our prayers together. It felt so sweet and perfect. I felt so calm and the spirit so strong. I rolled over and texted Jess about the gym and then calmly asked Leighton a few times to go play with Emersyn until i got her out of her crib. I was thinking soon there will be three of them. It will be like this forever. I walked into the bathroom, slightly saw the toilet water thought wow i must have a UTI and i didn't even know. I need to drink way more water today. Then i wiped. Then i wiped again. Then it hit me. "I did not have a UTI. My tests came back positive though, I just had an ultrasound yesterday, and my blood levels were going up. Oh no, this is why Dr. Polson seemed hesitant. This is why i had the tests in the first place. I am losing my baby." No one but Kaden even knows i am pregnant. Am i sad? Can i handle this? We just got excited about the idea of another child. We have been looking at new cars. I bought a little boy outfit. Wait maybe I'm not miscarrying. Maybe something else is happening. I don't feel anything. Maybe i am just numb.

I made the girls breakfast, sat on the couch and the tears began to roll down my cheeks. I am sad. I really am. I wanted to have a baby. I was excited, i thought we were meant to. Another miracle, unplanned baby to bless our lives. Leighton started telling me to not be sad. She whipped my tears and told me stuff was coming out of my eyes. She was so sweet and so sincere. Emersyn came and gave me a hug and I was reminded how truly blessed i really am. Really. Leighton and Emersyn are more than i could ever ask for. I want to be happy, i want to feel like i understand, but i don't. All i know is that this is the Lord's plan and that is not always easy to hear.

All day I just wanted Kaden to come home and hold me. To tell me it will all be alright. That he loves me and that we will have another child when we are meant to. Kaden was sweet but we all handle things in our own way and he shuts himself away when anything bothers him.

Leighton laid down on the couch with me tonight and said "your happy now? no more sad face like this, and closed her eyes and made a crying face. you be happy like this and made her happy face." I love her happy face. I love her sweet spirit and i love her understanding of what it is i need right now.

I am sad. I am confused. I'm in a little bit of pain but mostly i am numb. I just want to cry and i just want the opportunity to have this baby in my belly. I made the mistake of looking at pictures of 8 week old babies. Yes, they look like tiny aliens, but i really want one. I really wish i had an ultrasound picture. I wish i had anything to hold on to that would make this pain in my heart feel more tangible. Like for a few short weeks i was really growing a baby. That when my hair starts falling out or my hormones are a little crazy that i have something to look at or hold onto and know there was a reason.

I write this not for pity, we didn't tell anyone i was pregnant and partly for this reason. I write this so our very very young soul can be remembered. So we are not the only two who know he existed. I write this because i want other moms or moms to be to know they are not alone in their pain. That it is hard. That losing a life no matter how old is not easy. No matter how common, miscarriages are still real and still sad and still painful. Creating a child is absolutely the biggest miracle ever and truly an act of God. Knowing that someday in another life this sweet baby of ours will be mine makes it a little easier but only a little. I am so thankful for the knowledge i have that one day my family will be together again. Lost babies included.

A Busy Month

This past month has been so crazy. I honestly feel like i have been spinning and circles for so long i am finally standing still and can't seem to see straight yet. You that feeling? That one you get when you swing your kids around for a little too long or played the spin till you fall game when you were little. Yes, that is the feeling i am speaking of. I tried so hard to be successful this month. To makes a little extra money and to get us a little more towards our financial goals. Guess what, we are well on our way to some financial success. By that i mean being out of debt and building a savings so we can plan on building a new home sometime in the near future. Working really was not something i intended on doing this year. We were fine with getting by and spending time together, but this job has been the biggest blessing! Selling LuLaRoe is honestly changing our lives.

The downside to that change was how often i wasn't home during the month of march. I ate out so much i honestly gained 8 pounds. I think i could cry just over that. Now that Ive realized i don't want to spin anymore and i want to be able to see straight i am going to plan a few less parties and manage my time a little better. This means making time for the blog again too. Basically i absolutely love writing here and keeping everyone up to date on our lives. I have a few catch up posts i need to make. For now here are the highlights of March!

Leighton turned 3!!!

What?!?!? How did that happen? How in the world do i have a threenager already? She is so fun, upbeat, feisty, beautiful and smart! I can not get over how quickly she is growing up. Ready or not soon she will be off to college (don't worry we still need to start preschool)

We took two trips up north

The girls and i spent a week throwing parties and living out of a hotel room. We spent most of our free time with Aunt Hannah, shopping at Ikea and playing at chic fil a with Jess and the boys. The second time i went up just Emersyn and I went. It was a shorter trip so Leighton got to stay home and play with grandma for a few days. She loved it! She actually told me to go home when i went to pick her up.

We stayed with Grandma and Grandpa a few times.

It is funny how just we used to visit the valley so often that i was sick of it. Now we are almost never there so it feels so nice when we go back. So nice we even consider moving back sometimes… then reality sits in and we think…better not. The girls sure love all the attention they get from Grandma, Gramdpa and Kake Kake.

The Woman Problem

Every time i go to the gym i look in the mirror and think. "I should have put make up on, my hair is so gross, i should do some more squats, maybe pushups actually are a good idea." You get the idea. The list really could go on and on. My work out partner says things like "but i still have this pooch." and I seriously roll my eyes and think, YOU ARE CRAZY! Like you could not bend in half with out that pooch.

Really does every single woman do this to themselves? I think so. Since I began selling LuLaRoe i have thrown quite a few pop-up boutiques and at every single one of them i find myself amazed by the beauty of every single woman i visit with. Really one reason i love this company is because it somehow has made a product that is comfortable and flattering on everyone. When someone comes in and I say "oh actually you probably wear a medium or even a small" they look at me like i am crazy. Sometimes it takes a lot of convincing to get them to try on a dress with a waist or shirt with tight sleeves. Most of their reactions to my compliments are skepticism and doubt. Then they look in the mirror, usually pleasantly surprised but still with the comments of self criticism. I hear things like, "i need to lose weight, once i didn't have this butt, my arms are the worst part of my body."Still happy with their clothes, but clearly not with their bodies.

Why? Why do we do this to ourselves. Why do we all feel so bad about our bodies instead of loving them. Our bodies are pretty amazing. No matter what size we are, what shape we are, there is something each of us would love to change. I'm the first to admit that. I want bigger boobs, always have, always will. Actually i just want them to both be the same size right now but guess what nursing is what made them the way they are and nursing my baby girls has been one of the sweetest experiences of my life. Chances are whatever has made your body into the shape it is in now was something similar. Something worthwhile. Having children, begin a mother, putting others first, hustling to support yourself, your family or just trying get through school. Not everyone has time to spend hours at the gym or the ability to eat the way it takes to be as healthy as we'd all love to be.

Women, don't be so hard on yourself. Be appreciative of what you have. You are beautiful! Really i am not just saying that. You are unique and something about you, if not everything about you is absolutely amazing. Own your look, rock it and know that no matter what you are gorgeous. You probably have amazing hair, sparkling eyes and a smile that once broke someones heart and probably still does. Guess what? curves are in. So is being a size 2. Basically being any size is the right size. Look in the mirror, what do you see? Every time a negative thought enters your mind replace it with two positives. Do this everyday and soon you really will know just how absolutely beautiful you are.

6 Years

6 years ago Kaden and I made the biggest decision of our lives. I was an immature 19 year old and Kaden was a nieve 22 year old. We believed we loved each other but we had no idea what marriage really meant. Both our expectations were a little ridiculous. Kaden imagined dinners on the table, packed lunches and a wife that probably wore less than more when they were alone. I pictured lots of cuddles, door opening, your beautifuls and i am the luckiest man the world. The reality was that just not what our first year of marriage was made of. We had a lot of growing pains but only because we both had so much growing up to do. 6 years is not that long, but to me, a person who still catches herself telling people she is 18, (i'm 25) 6 years seems like forever. I can honestly say that at this point I can not imagine our relationship ever being better. Kaden is truly my best friend and I am his. I feel like we have a secret language, we can usually read each others minds and we are always there for each other. We know how to annoy one another more than anyone else and how to make the other laugh even when they aren't in the mood. Of course we still have our ups and downs but i wouldn't change a single thing about where we are right now. I love Kaden so much and i honestly feel like that love just becomes stronger every day. He is the only person i could ever imagine by my side and I am so grateful that 6 years ago we made the choice to spend eternity together.

On our honeymoon in San Francisco

Ramblings on Hustling

I took an ecourse a few weeks ago on productivity, business and social media. The girl teaching it said something that surprised me. "You can only hustle for so long before you fail." Bam my mind was blown. Everyone talks about hustling. It makes me feel like i don't do enough when i see all the cute quotes about it and basically working your A off for what you want. The past week has been the biggest whirl wind and i think it all caught up with me in the form of a migraine last night. This morning though i realized a few things. 1. no wonder you'll fail if you hustle for too long. 2. I have the most amazing friend ever. and 3. I really really really really really need a big car, like really. My LuLaRoe inventory all arrived last night, i sorted it hung it all up and then packed it all in to my car for a party. Actually Jess did most of it. She is amazing and so helpful. I was so stressed i couldn't think straight. 3 jobs may be a little much. After my party this evening i sat down and decided i really need to set goals and organize my time accordingly. What is my priority right now? What do i want to succeed at? In what ways can i do this?

- Right now i am going to focus on first and for most my children. My family and myself. I refuse to ever feel mentally unhealthy again and i refuse to ignore my children just to make some money.

- I am going to build LuLaRoe through personal connections, through a beautiful instagram, by throwing parties and collaborating with other amazing women.

- I am going to keep my home in order, stay organized, and not stress over the small things i don't accomplish in a day.

To build my business and clientele quickly i might have to hustle for awhile but that doesn't mean i have to feel like i am drowning. I am not going to glorify busy. I am going to work my butt off but in ways that benefit my family not only financially but in all aspects. Maybe that will be the key to being successful.

The Blog

Love & Life has changed a lot since i started blogging about, umm 5 years ago now. I have been so off and on and my content has never been much except for my family visited here and a very long crazy update over there…. I might be crazy, and now let me give you some motherly advice.

Well with the new year i have been thinking about my goals for the blog. Where i want it to go, what i really want to write about and what i hope my followers get from reading.

There is not much i can say that i am an expert on but there is quite a bit that i know. I am a wife and a mother after all and both are not easy. In school I studied education, childhood development, photography, and business. I have been a partner in a successful business and test out my creative side whenever i get the chance. I may or may not have an obsession with shopping, try my best to be healthy and enjoy staying fit.

Since that is pretty much how i would describe myself that is pretty much what i want to write about. I want to share our story, tell you about our lives, but i also want to give you my secret to finding love in all the craziness of it. I want every single person who visits this blog to feel like they can relate, or take something away from my words. I promise to be real. I won't post about clothes i can't afford, or tips that i don't use myself. Everything on here can be found in my simple everyday and that is why i am changing the name to LoveITT. 

LoveITT is love and leavitt together. This blog is all about my leavitt life and how i love it. Hope that makes sense. I'm kinda obsessed with it though. Love & Life was a little long and not personal enough. 

Seriously, can we just be one world wide web of friends? That is what i hope you find here. A friend, someone you trust, laugh with, and want to hang out with. How about this year we hang out together? See those follow options to right? Go for it. Become a follower and how bout we become bestsies already?

Prayers Are Answered

Let me get a little churchy on you. I don't share my testimony often. It is something personal to me and honestly i do fear what other people will think. My beliefs are fragile. Especially about things like prayer. I am not perfect at prayer. I am working on it but for a long time i just didn't do it. I would wait until i was completely overwhelmed or until something was happening to someone close to me. It doesn't take long to do but it was just not a habit. Now that i have been really trying I have felt such a difference in my life. I leave the house feeling more balanced and confident. I am calmer with my children and i recognize my blessings daily. Lately Kaden and I have felt like we were in need of a little something extra. Financially we are trying very hard to get out of debt (including cars and student loans) that is huge! I have prayed so hard to know what would be the best way for us to do this and what i should be doing to feel creative and fulfilled in my work. Guess what 100 times over i have told Kaden i just wish i could find something that is great and i love like i do LuLaRoe. It would have been too hard and scary to sign up competing with Brittany (the cedar consultant). Guess What!? Brittany and i met a few months ago and instantly hit it off. I went to her looking for 1 specific item and quickly became an addict. Friday afternoon i texted her quick after having a random thought about spreading the word of her leggings and she shot me back a text asking me to become the local consultant because she is leaving. Ahhh! I was in shock! My heart almost stopped and i questioned everything about it until i sent in my contract Saturday. Really, this opportunity couldn't have came at a more perfect time. When i first told Kaden about this little idea he was so excited. Like I've never seen excited. I have only been a consultant for a whole 24 hours and i have an entire month booked with parties already.  a thousand followers on my sales insta and 100 likes on my Facebook page. I may or may not be ugly crying right now and not just because i am watching the final episode of Parenthood (even though lets be real my heart is completely broken that i won't get to see the bravermans every week anymore.) There are so many ways that i know our prayers are answered. I have always felt things have came together how they were supposed to for our little family but never before did an answer seem to happen so quickly or so blunt. The Lord knows what, when and how we need our answers. Past ventures have always felt like my will and this truly feels like the Lord's. We will see where it takes me and my family. 

L & EM- Week 4

These two. This week has been pretty laid back but these two have been funnier than ever. The fighting has begun. If Emersyn has it Leighton wants it and if Leighton has it Emersyn needs it. I die, really. Like how do parents not go bald from pulling their hair out on a daily basis? I am just going to embrace this little stage of life that will probably last the next 16-100 years. Em likes to be silly now, especially if it makes Leighton laugh. When i told them to sit by each other this is where they landed. The moment didn't last long so this is all i got. Leighton too tired to look at me and Em trying to strangle peaches (our miniature cat). 

Bright and Cheery

Dreaming of warm weather over here! Really i should not even say this because winter has been good to us, but these short days are giving me some winter blues. I feel a serious need for the sun to stay out until about 9 at night. That won't be happening for quite awhile though. I see a good spray tan in my near future and maybe taking the girls to the pool one day this week. Sunny days will come eventually and until then I am just going to be doing all i can to stay bright and cheery over here. You'll know I've gone too far if i post a bikini pic anytime soon. 

Do any of you suffer from winter blues? What keeps you going when you start feeling the lack of vitamin D in your life? https://www.etsy.com/listing/199885069/inspirational-print-typography-poster?ref=shop_home_active_13&crlt.pid=camp.cLcM5p9STAuv

A Freshly Picked Review

If you follow regularly then you already know my love for moccasins. Have you seen my insta? If not go follow it. If yes, then your probably quite annoyed by all my hashtagging which usually includes #freshlypicked Why? Because these are truly the most amazing baby/toddler shoes ever! 

When i first had Leighton she was a shoeless infant for wayyy too long. Baby shoes were all way too fat for her feet and fell off constantly. I remember when she was about 4 months old going to a friends graduation and her mother asking where her shoes were. Seriously? I was a little embarrassed and i didn't want to spend a minimum of $20 on something that would probably get lost. When Leighton was close to the 1 year mark we finally started investing in her little feet. We bought Toms like crazy and loved them because they were comfy, and for some reason fit her foot pretty well. So lots and lots of money into Toms later we discovered Freshly Picked. 

(lets take a moment to reminisce on little Leighton, she has grown out of both these outfits already.)

I was an insta follower prior to Shark Tank (they were on the show) and wasn't sure i could spend the money. We happened upon a trunk show in Costa Mesa and I couldn't pass it up. Over an hour of waiting, and i excitedly got to meet Susan and her team and snatch up a sweet pair of blush pink moccs. That was almost a year ago and guess what? Leighton is still wearing those same moccs. That was the best $45 dollars i have ever spent on her adorable little feet. (usually $60) She has worn them everywhere. Out to play, to the park, to disneyland. Leighton now has 2 pairs steal and blush and 9 out of 10 times when i ask her to put her shoes on she grabs a pair of moccs. 

The obsession doesn't end there though, my sweet Emersyn has the tiniest feet ever so clearly i had a bit of a shoe problem with her too. Luckily i knew exactly what to spend my money on this time. Em has worn the same 3 pairs of moccs for the past year as well. 

When i hosted a giveaway for Freshly Picked a couple months ago Em received this beautiful pair of Oui Oui moccs to review. Seriously! Look at these things. Gold and sparkly and perfect. They seem to be a little thinner than the metallic leather and suede moccs but they are holding up great still. I keep these as Sunday moccs or for nicer outings and her older moccs for all the days in between. 

Besides these little shoes being adorable and lasting forever what else do i love about them? They fit my girls feet, even when a little too big. (Great for fast growers.) They never fall off. We have never ever lost a mocc and i can not say that about other shoes. I don't have to worry about pairing socks with them, lacing them up, or pushing their feet in. They slip right on and tighten around the ankle with elastic. And they clean sooo easily, seriously i just use a baby wipe and wipe them off and voila they are all shiny again.

Are you sold yet? Probably should be. Check them out.

Freshly Picked

or here

Nordstrom

L & EM- Week 3

The girls and I went on a quick trip to Salt Lake this weekend to visit friends and family. We went with  my mom and sister Hannah. When we first got on the road Leighton could't quit asking if we were going on an adventure. She was so excited and for some reason figured if we were with Grandma, of course that meant we were on our way to open presents. The old Christmas tree still up in our hotel lobby only furthered her belief that there must be presents near by. Well two nights in a hotel with out presents mean she was over it pretty quickly and tried everything she could to  escape. Of course Emersyn stood right by her side and cheered her on. It is kinda of scary how close my two year old came to breaking out of the hotel room. Sometimes i really do think she is way to smart for her own good. The entire trip went really well. We all loved spending time together and the girls were so fun. Both of them were full of energy but that just meant extra smile all around. Both girls were also pretty perfect in the car. I couldn't believe it, neither of them cried, just played and slept.

These girls are so special. I love our days together. Leighton and Emersyn have been playing so well and i love watching them. What a blessing it is to stay home with them everyday. Sometimes i feel bored or question why it is so important, but it really is. Last week i asked Kaden how he felt about me staying home. Sometimes i feel like i am not doing enough and he said, "Don't you feel like staying home is the best way to raise the girls, i feel like it is the best thing you could be doing." I don't know why that surprised me but I guess the reassuring words are exactly what i needed.

A Yummy Snack

If you don't already know, i grew up in Southern California. We loved visiting local beaches and still go back to the same ones every year. One of my favorite wandering places was always Balboa Island. My mom would take us across the ferry and to the little island, where we would wander around looking through shops and eat frozen chocolate covered bananas. There are few snacks that sound as good to me as that one does. So here is my version.

Because i wanted this snack to have more purpose than fulfilling my need for nostalgic moments, I added some peanut butter, and used only organic ingredients. 

This is sooo simple it is almost stupid. Be aware it is a little messy though. 

What you need

- sliced up bananas 

- equal parts, dark chocolate chips and peanut butter

- microwave safe bowl

- freezer paper

- forks

Start melting the chocolate chips. I microwave them for 30 seconds at a time and stir them in between. When they begin to melt i add the peanut butter and continue until it is liquid like. 

I usually slice the bananas while melting the chocolate. 

Once the chocolate mixture is melted dip bananas into the mixture. This is done by placing the bananas on a fork and dipping them into the mix. The fork works as a strainer to allow extra chocolate to drip back into the bowl. Then place covered bananas onto the freezer paper. Once all bananas are covered place them in the freezer until frozen. 

 Sorry i don't have a final picture. We ate them before i remembered to take one. 

Keep Moving

What a day to be celebrated. I honestly had forgotten that today was a holiday. It happens when you work for yourself and are no longer in school. But really, when i remembered i had to reflect. What a man Martin Luther King was. He stood up for what he believed in and never backed down. Change came and who knows how quickly that would have happened with out him. Clearly he was meant for his time and called of God to do what he did. It is no wonder he is honored with a day of his own.

Dressing for A New Year

Dressing up is so much fun, but it rarely happens for me. If i am being honest, i have a closet full of beautiful things and i am almost always in a tee and yoga pants. Yes i am that girl. The white girl with two girls in tow and a starbucks cup in hand. It happens. On the off chance i am wearing real clothes though, i am dressed well and i feel great for it. Sooo with this new year i want to blog more about what i wear, how to dress, and why. Here it goes. 2015's first fashion like post. Dressing for The New Year. 

top- gap, necklace- banana republic, shoes- banana republic

This look is perfect for a day you don't feel like getting too fancy. It would be so comfy paired with a nice pair of denim or sparkly leggings. The blouse has wide sleeves which are surprisingly very flattering. The necklace adds a little sparkle and these adorable pumps have just enough texture to them.  Perfect for a dressy beginner or date night out. 

L & EM- Week 2

These girls are crazy. This week Leighton said to me "mom carry me down stairs, my legs broken" Then one night while cuddling with her I asked "Leighton do you love me?" She replied "I think so, your nice." I'm glad to know she thinks i am nice, especially since this morning I hear her tell Emersyn, "run dister, mom's gonna hit you" I about fell aver when i heard her say that. I do not hit my children. At least not very often. 

Emersyn has been funnier than ever. Leighton taught her how to go down the stairs over the weekend. She loves taking care of her sister. Leighton says "follow me dister, like this, like a baby." Emersyn just laughs and does exactly what she does. Emersyn loves sitting on little things. She is so tiny so anything doll sized is perfect for her. Little chairs, strollers, the bottom of the book shelf. Her tiny squatty body kills. 

Small Space, Big Statement- Entry Way

We bought our home a little over 4 years ago now. We planned on living in it for 2-3 years tops. Well two children later we are still here and it feels smaller than ever. This year we are working on re-doing our space while we dream of finding a new one. My goal is to make every room feel comfortable, lived in, beautiful and bigger. 

To start off my adventure, I'm starting with the entry way. Here are my two ideas, similar but both have a completely different feel to them… and price tag. 

Every small space needs creative storage pieces to keep it tidy and organized. I have yet to find a bench with hidden storage that i like so a cute basket will have to do. 

I also love the idea of a mirror, easy to check your face when entering and leaving and the reflection itself makes the space feel greater than it really is. That's a win win.

All of the save items can be found at Target. While the splurge are all from West Elm. 

Which entry way items would you prefer? Do you have another pieces you feel are necessary for this part of your home. 

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